


leave me (déjà vu)

by elizabethgraem



Series: We Could Have Been More [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-06 01:27:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19052470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elizabethgraem/pseuds/elizabethgraem
Summary: When Steve goes back in time to return the stones, he decides to fix some things along the way. Unfortunately, he ends up in another timeline, although with Tony still alive, it isn't the worst thing that could have happened.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Valenix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valenix/gifts).



> I saw my inbox and I saw Valenix comment and it was just about us being friends now and it made me want to write again, so thank you. I hope you like it. Feel free to offer up any tweaks. I can't wait to read your works that I've missed, but I knew if I didn't start this now, I probably wouldn't.

Steve approached Bucky, a grim smile on his face. Bucky stared back, the same expression plastered onto his face. But there was comfort in both of them as well, and Steve couldn’t deny his excitement, despite the anxiety that came with it.

“Don’t do anything stupid ‘til I get back.” Bucky’s lips curled into a short smile. More than 80 years ago, but no time at all. Nothing’s changed aside from everything. Bucky shook his head before his face fell again.

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” It was light and reminiscent. A reminder that he still loved him, despite the fact that they would never be how they had been. The two of them came together as if part of the same mind. The embrace was quick. They would see each other soon enough. What’s one more lifetime of waiting?

Bucky swallowed hard, looking to the ground momentarily before looking back to Steve, finally allowing his face to show his sorrow.

“I’m gonna miss ya, buddy.”

It came out as a whisper and Steve almost had second thoughts. Almost.

He had to do this. This wasn’t only for him. He had two friends to live for.

“It’s gonna be okay, Buck.” It came out low, but he believed it. Bucky smiled at him.

Everyone was quiet as Steve approached and climbed the steps to the platform. He tapped the back of his hand and the suit encased his body, white and red spreading over his hand, climbing up his arm, covering him. He grabbed Mjölnir, letting it hang loosely beside him. He took a deep breath and stood up straighter, Bucky standing before him, his eyes assuring Steve that everything would be okay. It had only been an idea in Steve's mind, something he would never have put into words, but Bucky knew him too well to hide much of anything.

_"Steve." Bucky was sitting beside him on the dock, their feet in the lake. Steve could swear if he looked hard enough, he could see the bouquet they had set adrift for Tony brushing against the grasses and shrubs across the water. Maybe it was just wishful thinking._

_"Buck." He said back. He knew Bucky would read him like an open book. He didn't want him to. Not right now. He kept his eyes on the glittering thing he saw across the lake. 'Please don't be a rock' he thought. He wasn't ready to lose Tony again._

_"Steve." Bucky's voice was stronger this time and Steve could feel Bucky's eyes on him. Was telekinesis a power of Russia's newer serum? Because Steve didn't have it, but he was fairly certain Bucky did. Steve tore his eyes away from the little piece of Tony he had left. He let out the breath he was holding as he turned to Bucky._

_"Steve, you don't need my permission to do anything. I don't need to protect you anymore. You're not that little sickly punk, and I'm not the same either, but I've got someone to help me. Sam's a good man." Steve wanted to shake his head, wanted to tell him to stop talking. He didn't need anyone to convince him, he needed Bucky to tell him he couldn't go, that it wasn't right, that he'd only just gotten him back. Bucky was never one to pull a punch, especially not to help Steve._

_"I know." It's all Steve could say. He looked back out over the water._

_"We'll all still be here when you get back."_

_"I know, but-"_

_"But Stark isn't going to miss you." Steve flinched. He knew that, but at the same time... Tony made it back from space half-dead. Twice. He figured out time travel. He saved the universe. If anyone could cheat death, it was him. Steve still hadn't stopped waiting for a clap on the shoulder and an obnoxious comment. He couldn't. He had to._

_"He isn't coming back. It's time for you to get the life that you deserve. You know I'll end up okay. You know that I've got these people. You still haven't left the forties. I think you need to say goodbye to the past and what the war took from you before you have any chance at living here." Bucky turned to face the water and they were both silent. Steve wasn't sure how long._

_"Damn you, Barnes." As loath as he was to admit it, Bucky was right, though. Since he was young, getting beat up in alleyways and behind buildings, he'd never been without a battle. He couldn't live like that. He was exhausted._

_They stared at the water until after the sun had gone down. Steve stared at the glint against the opposite shoreline. He'd swear it shone brighter._

"How long is this gonna take?" Sam’s voice brings him back from yesterday. It’s tense, hesitant. Bruce looks to him from behind the controls.

"For him, as long as he needs. For us, five seconds." Steve understands why Sam is apprehensive. After all, he'd missed the whole (mostly) successful mission they'd done only days prior. Time travel was something impossible, something of movies and imagination. Until Tony Stark.

"Ready Cap?" Bruce’s voice brought him back from yesterday. He looked over his shoulder. He nodded.

"Alright, we'll meet you back here, okay?" Steve turned back to face ahead of him. Behind him? He wasn't sure.

"You bet." The helmet covered his face, the screen laying itself over his eyes.

"Going quantum in three," Bruce spoke, but Steve just looked ahead. Bucky stared up at him.

"Two," Sam was behind him. He was lucky to have met Sam. He and Bucky would have each other's backs.

"One." Steve heard the whirring of the machine. Then he heard nothing.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's returned the stones and runs into Peggy, although definitely not how he'd planned. He wants to build a life here again, although he quickly realizes it's not quite what he had imagined it would be. And then Tony is born and well, building a life here was a stupid idea in the first place. He's got some things he needs to fix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Steve is not a pedophile, there will be no hitting on baby Tony.

He was back at the base in 1970. Asgardians had managed to encase the stone again, leaving it no different than it once had been. He just had to return the cube and get out of here. Easier said than done, when everyone's on the lookout for he-who-does-not-belong.

_"Do you want to play a game?"_ He hears her voice, a phantom in the wind, and smirks. 

Steve lowers his hat, lifts his shoulders, fakes some confidence. Natasha'd given him a few pointers when they were chasing down Bucky and they rose to his mind now. He hadn't been a great liar back then, but a lot had changed. He wasn't the same person he is now. He makes his way toward the compound.

He stands in the elevator, watching the numbers drop and making small talk whenever people enter. He presses buttons for floors, laughs at all the right moments. He’s inconspicuous when everyone is looking for someone hiding, someone uncomfortable. It’s easier to hide without Mungo Jerry walking right next to him, facial hair entirely out of place. 

Returning the tesseract goes without a hitch. He smiles when he sees the vault sliced wide open. He wants to scold Tony for being so showy, for taking the tesseract in such an obvious way. He wants to see Tony’s face when he smirks and mocks him. Steve’s breath catches and he coughs to play it off. What he wouldn't give to get into a pissing match with Tony about that when he gets back. Even more, what he wouldn't give to take every pissing match and shit storm he and Tony had caught themselves in and turn them into gratuities and apologies for everything he’d done.

But there was nothing he could give to do that.

He turns to leave the room, headed for the elevator. He watches the numbers change until he reaches the next floor and resists the urge to punch the metal walls of the elevator. The doors open, he breathes, and he walks to Pym's lab.

He pulls out the four vials Scott had given him to replace those that he’d stolen.

__

”Scott, what if something goes wrong?”

__

“You’re telling me that you thing returning them will be harder than stealing them was?”

__

He can still feel the weight of his lie in the pockets of the suit, the extra particles Steve had asked for “in case of emergency”. Originally, Scott had given him enough particles to replace the stones, these vials, and go home, but that wasn't the plan. Wasn't _his_ plan.

He turns and heads out the door, making his way to the elevator again, ready to leave, when the same black woman that had been searching for them before stepped out.

“ _God damnit!_ ” He mutters, rolling his eyes as he, again, ducks into the nearest room.

He shuts the door and turns. At the same time, a familiar voice spoke. 

"Something wrong, soldier?" 

His eyes are wide only a moment before hers. 

"Steve?" Peggy wonders aloud. Her face flashes through a dozen different emotions and, despite the years between them now, Steve still reads every single one. First comes recognition, followed by surprise, then curiosity. Her eyes flicker and eventually her face falls, sadness filling her features. 

"Peg..." It’s the start of something he wants to say, but he doesn’t know what. This isn't how he had planned to come back to her. 

"Steve..." Peggy’s voice trails off as well, but then her face hardens, "...is dead." She pulls a gun up between her hands from beneath her desk and points it directly between his eyes. Her eyes are wet, but her face is set. 

"No, no, no, Peg, fonduing, remember?" He panics as she holds the gun tighter in her hands and moves her finger to the trigger. 

"Saturday, 8 o'clock at the Stork Club, Peg. I know I'm late, I'm sorry-" and the words are rushing out, but her face has already transformed into something else, wet eyes ready to overflow as she stand frozen, gun pointed between his eyes. 

"Peggy, I'm sorry." His voice is lower, calmer, the panic driven from his mind and leaving nothing but exhaustion in its place. How long had he been waiting to reach this moment right here? Yet still he had nothing to say. 

"Peg...I still don't know how to dance..." His voice is soft as he speaks and he moves toward her, the hands that had risen before him—palms facing her, placating—pushing down the barrel of the gun slowly. Still she stood all but frozen, her head turning to watch him approach. 

For a moment they both can do nothing but stare. When he’s still a foot from her, he stops walking.It’s her choice if she approaches him now. She doesn’t, but her body turns to face him as the stiffness leaves her body. 

"How?" She asks quietly, wide eyes scanning up to meet his. 

"It's a really, really long story," he admonished, "but Peg, I don’t know that I can tell it." Steve had never realized how long these years had been since coming out of the ice. He'd spent so much time running and fighting, that he hadn't realized how _tired_ he was. His posture dropped. She hugs him and it’s deep and comforting and lovely, but it’s different than it had been so long ago. It isn't the same comfort he so desperately needs, she isn’t the person he wants most. He isn’t her’s anymore either, and all that had happened, all that had torn them apart way back when made him want to cry, but he never would. They'd both loved each other, and lost each other, and that was that. 

_"I think you need to say goodbye to the past..."_

Bucky had been right, and Steve prepares goodbye as he pulls back. He would go back to his present and live out his life, he just has to say goodbye. When his mouth opens, though, nothing comes. He looks at her, and he remembers why he made this plan in the first place. Tony and Nat were gone, and he had to get a life. He stares at her until she cleared her throat instead of speaking. 

"Well then, I'm about to head home. How about some tea?" 

Steve swallows and nods as she gathers her belongings. ~~~ 

Peggy's house is a cute little thing. Cream vinyl with white trim and well taken care of landscaping. Potted plants line the stairs leading to a porch. It looks cozy, tucked away in the trees. He wonders how often Tony had come here to play. He can see the beginnings of a treehouse in one of the larger maples. 

"What's the treehouse for?" He asks. She glances at him as she closes the car door, a small smile on her face. 

"I've got a godson coming. I'll be damned if his Aunt Peggy isn't his favorite person in the world." She says, marching up the stairs. Steve follows. 

Inside the house is cozy as well, deep brown trim around the doorways, all open. He pulls off his shoes and watches as she opens a drawer beside her, pulling out a ring. She slip it onto her finger almost absentmindedly and Steve smiles. It'd been 25 years since he'd known her. He was just sad that he missed the wedding. 

A tall man walks in through one of the doorways, smiling as he approaches, reaching to Peggy for a hug and a quick kiss. 

"How was work today, my love?" He greets, pulling back from her. Peggy pulls back further, opening her body and bringing her hand up to motion to Steve. 

"This is-" 

"Anthony Edwards." Steve finishes. He puts out a hand for the man to shake and sees as she nods from the corner of his eye. "And you are?" he asks. 

"John. John Carter. Peggy and I decided since we were breaking the rules anyway, what with her working the long hours, I'd take her last name, too." His eyes were laughing and he met Peggy's with a smile. 

"Why am I not surprised." Steve admitted, a smile forming on his own lips. 

"Anthony's a friend from work. I haven't see him in 20 years, so it's funny meeting now," she comments, an eyebrow raised, "he hardly looks any older. I invited him back for some tea, if you'd like to join." 

"I'd love to, but Benny's bachelor party is tonight. I'm supposed to bring the cigars-" 

"Ugh, you know I hate those things!" It came out as frustrated, but the smile on her lips suggested otherwise. "Go, shoo! The boys'll needle you endlessly if you're late." He grabs his jacket and gives her a quick peck as she ushers him out the door with the keys. 

She smiles after him as the door closes. 

"Congratulations. Sorry I missed the wedding." Peggy laughs at him. 

"If anyone deserves to be needled for lateness, it's you!" She groans, but the smile was still on her face. "You take a seat in the living room just there, I'll go put the water on." She says, walking back toward the room John had just left. He does as told and settles in a love seat, taking in all that’s around him. Photographs cover the walls, some in color, some still autochrome, some black and white. All are framed. There’s a picture of him and her laughing, a picture of her wedding. She has a picture with some girls in the office, all standing around a Rosie the Riveter poster, all making the same pose. He walks up to a photo and reaches out his hand. She’s talking to the Commandos, "giving them their next mission," the paper had reported. Peggy's face was overly serious as she spoke to them, their backs to the camera. She'd been impersonating Colonel Phillips If the reporter had come from the other side, he would have seen them all losing it. Next to it is a picture of all of the Commandos, arms over each other's shoulders as they laughed together. He can't help but stare. 

"After you _died_ ,” she throws a quick accusatory glance at him, “I realized I needed to save more memories. Most of them are still alive, you know. Everyone but..." _Bucky_ , Steve finishes in his head. She spoke gently. He looks over to see her padding toward him, her steps quiet in her stockings. He takes a deep breath. 

"I can't go see them. I shouldn't be here-" He starts, but Peggy cuts him off. 

"Then why are you here, Steve?" Her face is serious and inquisitive now, but he doesn't know how to answer, so he stays silent. Her face grows gentle once again and as she speaks, her words are soft. 

“Have a seat, Steve. I get the feeling you have a lot to share, and if not, I’ll catch you up on life over the past 25 years.” ~~~ 

“-and then Dugan’s laughing so hard, he falls off the log, his jacket sleeve is on fire, but he’s too drunk to notice. We’re all cracking up around the fire, the only one who’s at all concerned is Elizabeth, who drags him out of the fire and yanks off his jacket—they’re married now—” she states matter-of-factly. Steve stops laughing only for his jaw to drop in disbelief. Elizabeth, the sensible, serious, and fearless nurse from the battlefield that Dum Dum Dugan once convinced to go out with him. The night had ended disastrously, Steve remembered, with Dugan deaf in one ear, shitty wartime beer covering his shirt, while Beth’s hand was all cut up from the beer bottle she’d hit over the other guy’s head. 

“You’re shitting me.” Steve deadpans. Or at least he tries to, but he can’t quite still the laughter in his voice completely. She raises her eyebrows at his language, but doesn’t comment. 

_”Language!”_

_“Steve doesn’t like that kind of talk…”_

_“Oooooh! You kiss your mother with that mouth?”_

He kind of wishes she had. 

“I am not. They’ve got a little girl, Elizabeth. Dugan said he wanted her to be just like her mumma and couldn’t think of anyone better to name their little girl after. Oh! And Howard is expecting!” Peggy says excitedly, and Steve’s heart stops. 

“What? You-you’re kidding.” Steve stutters. 

“In a few weeks time there’ll be a little Howard running around. That poor kid, I’ll admit. I’m half-tempted to bring you to see Howard so he can stop obsessing.” Peggy admits. The left side of her mouth falls into a frown and Steve’s eyebrows furrow. 

“Why ‘that poor kid’?” He asks. Peggy’s mouth opens and her head shakes, but no words seem to want to come out. Finally she decides what to say. 

“He’s never going to live up to you. He’s never going to live up to the expectations Howard has. Howard has, admittedly, said he doesn’t want a boy. I think it’s because he’ll never be as good a creation as you were, though he says that’s not it.” Peggy’s staring just past Steve’s ear, a deep frown covering her features. Steve finds himself speechless and, by the tones of reassurance in Peggy’s voice when she speaks again, he’s looking entirely devastated. 

“Not that it’s your fault, Steve!” She rushed. Steve’s eyes feel dry. 

_Maybe it is now, though,_ Steve thinks, thinking back to every time he’d so much as sent a disappointed glare towards Tony. But there’s nothing he can do anymore. ~~~ 

It’s been just under a month since Steve came back. He’s working as a personal trainer at the local gym (they’d welcomed him with open arms when they’d seen him in action). On days off, he goes to the local animal shelter and food banks. He’d love to work with veterans, but he knows the chance of being seen is too high. It hurts him every time he has to hide in the back when an old war buddy comes into the food bank, looking like they don’t really care much if they get food anymore. 

He comes to the devastating realization that some things aren’t quite so different between the future and the past. Racism is more obvious and “less wrong”, it drives him up a wall every time he has to call someone out. It’s almost worse when they just scowl at him instead of trying to defend themselves live they do in the 21st century. Sexism is horrendous. Not only is it catcalling and hiring and wage, but it is a widely accepted “fact” that men are superior. Steve misses feminism and race- and religion-driven movements, the celebrations of attraction. Steve wants to go home if only to get away from all the hatred, but he still isn’t quite sure that the future is his home. 

It’s on this day that Peggy calls him, telling him he has to come over after his shift at the food bank. 

When he gets to the house, it’s John that greets him. 

“Hey Anthony! Peg’s right in the kitchen making some tea. I’m headed out for golf with some of the boys. You ever play the game?” He welcomes as Steve steps into the household. 

“Ehh, I’m not a particularly good golfer. A friend of mine tried to teach me once. I just never really got the hang of it.” Steve reponds. He thinks back to when Bruce had tried to take he and Tony golfing. 

_Come on, it’s relaxing_ , Bruce had said. 

Tony had gotten it quickly, trajectories and angles and wind all coming together in his head to calculate his best shot. Bruce had made him take off his glasses. 

_”Using Friday is cheating you bastard!”_ (Steve) and _”What can I say? I’m just that incredible.”_ (Tony). Steve had laughed and shoved him. Unfortunately, once the glasses came off he was still just as good. Steve had never stopped struggling for all 18 holes. He lost 23 golf balls somewhere in the distance. Steve was half convinced Tony had implanted Friday into his eyes. He wouldn’t have been surprised. 

“Well,” John conceded, clapping his hand on Steve’s shoulder, “that’s just because you’ve never had a teacher like me. I’ll show you the game again sometime.” And with that he’s out the door. Steve walks back to the kitchen. 

“Hey Peg, what’s up?” He asked. When she turns to him, lips pursed and eyebrows raised, he feels one of his own go up. 

“So, ‘Anthony Edwards,’” he cocks his head at the use of his “name,” “I just got back from the hospital.” Steve’s face drops as he scans her posture for anything wrong, any injuries. She continues. 

“John is going golfing with Stark, Dugan, and Morita. They’re celebrating the birth of Howard’s little boy.” Her face said he should understand. Tony... 

“That-That’s so exciting. Give him my congrat-” He began, but she cut him off. 

“It’s absolutely crazy because, you know what the kid’s name is?” She questions. Steve bites his lip and doesn’t say anything. He knows he doesn’t have to. 

“Steve. What? Happened?” Her eyes bore into his before he averts his own. He doesn’t want to answer, to tell her everything. He knows once he starts, he won’t be able to stop, just as he’d know after Tony flew that nuke into the wormhole that he’d truly cared for the man. 

He didn’t realize he’d loved him until he’d lost him in space. Until he’d truly thought he was gone. 

And then he was. 

She drags him into the living room, settling him on one end of the couch and handing him a warm mug. 

Peppermint. It’s always been his favorite. 

She sits on the other end of the couch, her own mug in hand as Steve plays with his tea bag. She’s silent as she waits, though he doesn’t speak for a long time. 

“I came out of the ice in 2012,” Steve begins, “just before a disaster with some gods. I was put on a team, we were called The Avengers. We were coined Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, and we weren’t exactly close. Least of all me and Stark.” He saw her confused expression and explained. “Tony Stark, not Howard. He’s a better man than his father will ever be.” The air feels dry on Steve’s lips and his throat. He sips his tea, but it’s too hot and too cold at the same time. He puts the mug down on the table beside the couch. 

“I was given the worst information on him, I don’t know if they did it on purpose, but I treated him like nothing, and he snapped back. We were like Newton’s cradle. Always snapping back and forth. It wasn’t until I thought he’d died that I realized he’d gotten under my skin, and I liked having him there. 

“We continued fighting together, but then I found out that someone from my past was alive, and I went after them, taking down SHIELD as we went.” Peggy sputtered, but Steve carried on. Maybe he would explain later. 

“Then he made a murder bot.” Her eyes went wide, but he didn’t stop, “He was scared and none of us could see what he had and he just wanted to save the damn world. He just wanted to get out. After that, things ended poorly in Sokovia. Too many civilians died, too many people were scared, and he decided we needed regulation. He and I fought and we parted ways bitterly,” _I could have killed him_ , “and we didn’t speak. And then his future came to pass and we lost, like he said we would. I wasn’t there, like I said I would be. I almost lost him, and I realized I loved him.” Peggy’s eyes widened for a flash, but she brought herself back quickly. 

“Then I did lose him.” Tears leap from his eyes before he can stop them, but he wipes them away and carries on. 

“We rode each other’s ass.” The room feels distant as he said it and he rolls his eyes, giving a small huff of a laugh at the same time he hears Peggy choke. He lets out a real laugh. 

“Not like that!” He assures. His hand jumps out in a placating gesture, a smile still on his face. 

“I’ve been to war, Steve. Men have their needs, I know-” 

“No, Peg, I just meant…” His voice goes soft, reminiscent, “Just-He’d nag me, and I’d snap back, and we were all over each other, arguing, worrying. I’d complain to him about his safety protocols and little sleep and misuse—or lack-of-use—of the comms. He’d get defensive. It was never Tony that told me about the nightmares. Fury had me keep an eye on him, told me about Tony’s “legacy” after the whole registration thing. I didn’t let it stop me from leaving him. I sent him a phone and expected him to reach out. 

“I know none of this makes sense, and I can’t put it into words in my head, but I swear to God, I would do anything to just go back—or, forward, I guess—and just stop myself. Just do my own research and make him feel wanted and important and strong. Give him as much as he gave me. Us. He was the backbone of the team. He took care of us. 

“No one ever really took care of him.” 

He stared at the goldfinches swarming the feeders outside, sweeping through the air with grace. 

“Fuck!” It bursts out suddenly, and he hadn’t been able to stop it as it carried him up to standing from the couch, hands in his hair to keep from lashing out. He sees Peggy jump from the corner of his eye. 

“I _convinced_ him. He was _happy_. He had a wife. He had a daughter. He was finally out. He’d had a cute little home on the lake and I came to him because he could never say no. He never met a problem he couldn’t solve, and if he could solve it, he could never say no. He would never stop, but he _had_ and I pulled him back in and he lost his _life_ for it.” 

Steve hadn’t realized he was on the ground tucked into himself until Peggy’s hand lands on his shoulder, a sad smile on her face. 

“Steve-” Her voice is gentle, soft, careful. It’s nothing that Steve deserves. “-you say you’ll do anything to change things, how you were with him. You realize that you already have the answer you’re looking for, right? So why haven’t you gone?” It isn’t an accusation and it isn’t a question. It’s somewhere in-between. Steve opens his mouth, but she stops him. 

“And don’t say you didn’t think of it.” She tells him expectantly, and Steve shuts his mouth again. He’s quiet as she crouches next to him, the look in her eyes patient, knowing. It’s a long time before he speaks again. 

“What if it just hurts him? What if I do something wrong? God, Peg, I can’t hurt him again.” 

“Steven, that boy is going to be strong as iron and tough as nails. And if you do something wrong, he’ll have never known the difference. You want to make things better for him? You can _try_. And Steven, you make it sound like you can’t possibly do any worse.” She finishes with a smile. He turns to meet her eyes, resolute and unwavering. Then his face falters. She cocks her head, but he’s already asking. 

“Could I…” Steve takes a deep breath. “Can I just meet ‘im?” he asks, voice low. A smile rises to her face. 

“I’ll find a way to make that happen.” ~~~ 

Six days later, Steve is back at Peggy’s after work. The door is open already and there’s no greeting, but he can hear people speaking in the living room. He’s about to walk in, when he realizes he recognizes a voice. 

“-and of course I’m not going to let Maria bring this child with us to Chicago. Too loud, I can’t be embarrassed like that. Imagine what the papers would say. Can’t go without her on my arm though, I need a little decoration.” 

Steve looks into the living room, wanting to be sure. In there, he sees Howard holding a baby in the most awkward way possible, the child’s head lolling to the side without any support. Peggy is reaching for the child, concern evident on her face. She holds him to her chest, her hand supporting his neck as Howard’s should have been. Steve walks back into the kitchen to avoid decking him in the back of the head. 

“I can watch him for the weekend, Howard. Did you bring his crib and formula?” Steve hears Peggy ask. 

“I’ve got it in the car.” Another female voice. Quiet, gentle. Maria. Steve smiles. 

“It’ll really be no problem. He’ll be happy as a clam. I’m sure Anthony-” but John gets cut off by Peggy. 

“-will love it here.” 

“Well, we’ll just be on our way then. Thanks, Peg.” Howard spoke. 

“John can go out and grab the crib, and then you can head out.” Peggy says. He can hear a little bounce in her voice. Then there’s shuffling, the front door widening and closing, and Steve walks into the living room to look out the window. John is pulling the crib out of the back as 

Howard starts the car. He cranks the window and Steve almost laughs to himself. Crank windows. 

Maria’s approaching Peggy, a sad smile on her face, and she says something, although Steve can’t hear it. Then she walks behind Peggy, gives Tony a kiss on the forehead, and stares at him, love and wanting warring in her eyes and Steve can tell she doesn’t want to leave him. Steve scoffs. Of course she doesn’t, he’s less than a week old. 

Minutes later, Maria says her last goodbyes as Howard honks the horn and Peggy and John are waving them off before walking back toward the house, John carrying the parts of the crib, Peggy with baby Tony tucked safely in her arms, fingers brushing the back of his head. 

When they come in, John goes right upstairs to set up the crib in their bedroom and Peggy walks into the living room where Steve’s still standing in front of the window, looking out. 

She clears her throat and he turns. They stand there silently for a moment. 

“Do you want to hold him?” Shs asks, and it seems so odd, so unbelievable and backwards. Steve is silent for a moment. 

“I’m here because this baby invented time travel.” He eventually says. He’s got tears in his eyes and he’s laughing and reaching out for Tony and when Steve finally hold him, he laughs. He bounces him up and down for a bit before he turns to look at the goldfinches out the window. 

“I swear I’ll do it right this time. I swear to you, you won’t be alone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow my [tumblr](https://anthorystark.tumblr.com/tagged/writing) for updates!

**Author's Note:**

> Long time no see! I've been doing some reading lately and had an idea for this fic that I thought would be really interesting to write. I'm more of a Tony person, but I think this is a really interesting idea, so let's see if I can write it right. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Title from "listen before i go" by Billie Eilish


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